The Value of Patience in an Instant World
Patience is not something we hear about much these days. We live in an age of immediate gratification.
You can shop from your phone, pay with one click, and usually have any product you want within a day or two.
If you want to eat, there's usually a fast-food restaurant within five minutes of your location. If you want to be entertained, you can usually find something within seconds on YouTube or TikTok.
If you want the answer to any question, just ask Siri, Alexa, or Google and you get an answer immediately.
If you want to check in on your friends, you can find their latest post on any number of social media sites, or just text them within seconds.
Once upon a time, we had to wait.
Once upon a time, we had to physically drive from store to store to find the product we were looking for; or at least find something similar that would suffice. We would count out cash to pay for it, write a physical check, or hand over a credit card and wait for the cashier to run it through the imprinting machine on carbon paper and then physically sign it.
If you wanted to eat, you usually waited for a home cooked meal or took the time to make one for yourself. Entertainment came from a little box in your living room with only about 3 or 4 channels to choose from.
If you wanted an answer to a question, you might find something in the dictionary or in the many encyclopedia volumes on your bookshelf. Or you went to the local library if they were open, or you might just have to accept that you don’t get to know the answer for the time being.
If you wanted to check in on your friends, you could dial their home phone number from your home phone (assuming they were home and would answer), or you could just go over to their house and talk to them in person.
We can make the argument that things are a lot better nowadays. Everything is certainly faster and more convenient. But in our high-speed, high-tech world of instant gratification, I often wonder if everything is better. I wonder if we haven’t unwittingly traded away some things that are more precious than speed or convenience.
I like to cook. (Let’s be honest. I like to eat.) But I like to eat really good food, and in order to do that, I cook.
Have you ever noticed that when something is slow-roasted it just tastes so much better than if it’s just thrown in the microwave? There is a huge difference between a brisket that has been broiling in a smoker for 16 hours versus the processed deli meat you just grabbed from the corner convenience store.
Speed and convenience can be nice, but we tend to value things more when we’ve patiently earned them. There’s a greater depth to the experience and a more fulfilling satisfaction that comes from patiently waiting for something rather than just getting it instantly.
Don’t get me wrong, I like shopping online and being able to get what I want in two days without getting off my couch. But I do enjoy the experience of aimlessly perusing the mall, exploring and finding an item I’ve never seen or even considered before. And there’s something about physically touching an item and trying it out before buying it. And I like the ability to socially interact with store employees and other customers.
Fast food is convenient when we’re in a hurry, but, as I mentioned previously, I do like to cook. I like to handpick the groceries; select the best cuts of meat and the freshest produce and bring them home to my kitchen where I can commence in my culinary work of art.
Yes, having instant access to YouTube, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, and Disney on our phone is convenient. But nothing compares to the feeling of hearing the laughter and emotion of your fellow audience members in a movie theater, or the energy of a live concert, a musical, or a play.
Perhaps the most precious thing we trade for speed and convenience is having real relationships. Yes, we each have hundreds of friends, followers, and subscribers to any number of social media platforms we use. But ask yourself; when was the last time you actually talked to someone you cared about; not through text, or facetime, but actually talked face to face?
When social media first came out, it was a great way to catch up with old friends and family. But now I feel that it has become nothing short of a circus of gawks and brags. Either we’re gawking at everyone else’s post about their latest trip, political view, or awkward selfie, or we’re bragging about our own.
In all of that, I have a hard time feeling a single real relationship is being built. In fact, in many ways, it has given us an excuse not to build real relationships at all.
Why would you ask Ben or Jodi how they’ve been when you already know they just got back from spending a week-long vacation in France? Why ask how their kids are doing when you already know their son’s soccer team just won the playoffs?
The problem with trying to connect quickly and conveniently is that we don’t really connect. We show only what we want to show, and we see only what we want to see. We don’t get a chance to be honest, personal, and real. We pass up the opportunity to cry with someone who just lost their mom to cancer.
To me, an ‘I Care’ emoji means just about as much as saying ‘I don’t really care because I don’t have the time or patience to talk to you about this in real life. I’m too busy watching cat videos on YouTube.’
Perhaps this is unfair, and many people do appreciate the emoji. After all, I suppose it’s better than nothing. But does anyone really believe that this can replace an in-person visit and an arm around a hurting friend, or even a heartfelt phone call?
Patience is about sacrificing speed and convenience for something better. It’s waiting for the slow-roasted brisket. It’s feeling the fabric of the shirt you like in the store and discovering three others you didn’t even know existed. It’s crying in the movie theater and hearing sniffles in the seat behind you. It’s about talking with your friends face to face and asking how they’ve been and actually taking the time to listen. It’s about closing the laptop with the sunset wallpaper, putting on your hiking shoes, and walking out on a desert trail to watch the actual sunset. It’s about remembering that we are still alive.
Life moves way too fast already, and unfortunately speeding through it doesn’t give us more time. If anything, it will likely cause us to miss out on the most precious moments of all.
It may sound counter-intuitive, but the next time you feel life is moving too fast and passing you by, consider slowing down, take a moment, and do something that takes a little more time.
